fifth note to self - black hole

A while back, after a day of full on eating and drinking and indulging, remember how incredibly empty you felt? How now matter what you put into your mouth there was a vacancy? A black hole of emptiness that made you wonder what was missing? This pit that, you thought, called for food, but the more you gave it, the bigger it got? Remember how you sat there, half sick, and then you realized the shell of yourself you were trying to complete wasn’t anywhere near fulfilled?

Remember?

Yeah, I thought so. That void? That’s emptiness? It needs to be filled with confidence and love and attention to self. NOT FOOD. Remember that, would ya? Remember when you feel hallow it’s time to look inward and praise yourself. It’s time to pray for strength. It’s time to believe that you rock. It’s time to take control.

It’s not time to stuff that hole with food or drink. Remember!

me

third note to self - do-over

I know you've been thinking about why you've let yourself get so out of control. What happened to you? Something had to have happened, right? I mean people don't just become obese without something tragic or some other shit happening, do they?

Yes, they can. Oh well, YOU can. YOU did. Nothing expectionally bad has ever really happened to you to excuse not taking care of yourself. NOTHING HAPPENED SELF! Get over it. You've just allowed yourself to not give a damn. Quit blaming. Quit searching. Just quit.

Start over. Today. Decide that it doesn't matter if something did or did not happen. start over. Start caring about yourself, today!

me