thirteenth note to self - new feelings

Something I'm noticed over that last 2 1/2 weeks of eating like a normal healthy(ish) person, I'm not used to not being FULL. I'm also not used to be hungry (or what I thought was hunger). I always bounced between the two extremes. Now, not so much. Now, I don't ever really feel starving. My stomach doesn't growl. I don't ever feel week or deprived. It's cool.

I also don't ever feel crazy full. That overwhelming full where the pants get unbuttoned and the couch screams for you to join it. That one is harder to get used to, and a couple times I have lost the battle to a serving of mashed potatoes so I could feel that solid lump in my belly.

that lump = my (previous) definition of full.

I'm also not used to being satisfied. I'm not used to feeling like I've had the exact right amount food when I only had a little bit, or when then is some left, or before I eat so much I can feel the food backing up in my throat.

It's a good feeling, for sure. But new. And new is weird a little bit. It feels real, and solid, and like something I can actually do for, like, ever. Which is kinda the goal.

me

first note to self - not hungry

I woke up this morning and I wasn't hungry. Which is strange because I wasn't hungry last night either. I'm not really used to not feeling hungry. Or at least feeling like I had to eat. It feels good. Like my body has figured something out. Like it turned around to look at itself and said HOLY SHIT CHECK OUT THAT BUFFET!!!

me